Nudity And Crudity In Croatia

29/7/06

 

Bog to all you nude crude dudes and Balkan beauties

Well we are currently in Dubrovnik in Croatia, and I am currently sitting in the garden patio of The Bokun Guesthouse, which is an amazing little family home guesthouse with the most beautiful garden that I have ever seen!

There are actually huge sunflowers all around us, and over my head are vines full of lush grapes and kiwi fruits, which would be VERY cool if I weren’t actually freaked out by all the bees buzzing around too!!!

 

 

Anyhows… we just got back onto the mainland yesterday after 7 days sailing around the Dalmation Islands, so we figured it’s time again for another travelblog update.

A week ago, we met up with Michael, Michelle and Aoife who are some friends from home, and along with Darlene and Allan who we have been travelling with the last 6 weeks, we rented a 39 foot Beneteau yacht from Split, and island hopped down the Dalmatian Coast all the way to Dubrovnik in the south of Croatia.

 

Now, the Dalmatian coast is lined with hundreds of little rugged islands with a multitude of postcard perfect villages, which are often surrounded by fortress walls and famous for winding cobble-stoned streets… so it is absolutely GORGEOUS and very reminiscent of southern Italy, but a lot cleaner and with MUCH less dogshit… despite the odd spotted dalmatian running around…

Not only that, but the weather is SO perfect that hotels will often give a 50% discount if it rains during your stay during the summer months. And although this was fantastic since the whole Adriatic Sea was as calm as a lake and as flat as a mirror, unfortunately for sailing it sucked bigtime as we really didn’t have any winds and ended up motoring everywhere.

However, although it is very scenic along the Adriatic, compared to sailing around the Whitsunday Islands in Australia which we have done a couple of times now, I would DEFINITELY say that Australia is actually MORE beautiful than Croatia since Croatia just doesn’t have the white sand beaches, reef or wildlife that we have at home, and for half the price!

But, despite this, the scenery was still STUNNING with some spectacularly rocky islands and amazingly clear turquoise blue waters, and we had an ABSOLUTE ball… although we were completely SHOCKED by the amount of fat nude men that we saw…

I shit you not dudes… most days, we would be waving at a boat going past us and then we’d look at the skipper and usually, it would be some fat naked fekker of a middle aged German, French or Italian dude just casually skippering his boat with his SCHLONG just flapping in the wind!!!

Now initially, we were all a bit FREAKED OUT at first, but in the end we decided that there was no point fighting it, so we’d just have to join them!!!

Now, I don’t know if any of you dudes have ever nuded up in front of friends before, but I for one have never done the group nudity thing at all, so I really did find it a bit of a personal learning experience…

Now, don’t get me wrong, those of you who know me, know that I really don’t have a problem with going nude in public, but somehow doing it in front of friends was actually more daunting than I thought…

Now initially, it could have been the whole Free Willy situation, but that was actually minor compared to some of the other challenges of going nude on a boat that we came across…

In fact, the first major BLOW to my manhood came when I dived butt naked off the bow of the boat…

Now, I really should have thought through the physics of the whole thing beforehand, but basically science tells us that it really doesn’t matter how perfect your dive is, gravity will always pull your penis parallel to the surface of the water…

…And that means that ANY impact is going to be a cockknocker of a shock to the system!!!

 

HOLY COW DUDES… As much as a belly flop hurts, a WILLY FLOP is by FAR more painful!!! And my advice to all of you is to NEVER underestimate the power of PANTS… Pants definitely ROCK!!!

In fact the willy flop may have even caused me some PERMANENT damage or Penile Concussion since I soon encountered another problem with my manhood…

For some reason, I became completely UNABLE to think with my schlong!!!!

For example, we all had absolutely NO problems pulling out the binoculars to perve at all the other nude girls on other boats, but for some reason I COMPLETELY was unable to perve at the nude girls on OUR boat…!!!

HOLY CRAP… I totally don’t know what went wrong, since Darlene and Michelle on our boat are definitely very attractive, but basically everytime they nuded up, I had to look away!!!

MAN… for some reason, I found that I was UNABLE to perve at nude friends!!!??? I was COMPLETELY DEVASTATED…!!! It was almost like I had lost a fundamental superpower of manhood…

 

 

…And since Darlene just couldn’t STOP going for nudey swims, it actually made it really uncomfortable since I just didn’t know where to look most of the time, and couldn’t even wear my swim goggles in the water…

HOLY SMOKES… somehow, I had actually stopped thinking with my dick and I was actually taken over by morals which I didn’t know I had which SUCKED!!!

Well, maybe it was my catholic school upbringing surfacing after being suppressed for many years, but I actually found it really DISTRESSING finding out that I had morals, and in the end it lead to many DEEP discussions with the rest of the boat as to why it is easy to perve at strangers, but hard to perve at friends and people you know…

 

 

But anyways, despite me thinking initially that it could have been a situation where the “grass is greener”, the “fuzz is fuzzier” and the “muff is muffier” on other boats, in reality, it probably is more of a “too much information thing” when it comes to friends… but I will definitely need to track down some adult websites to help me overcome my morals problem when I get home…

Anyways… Dubrovnik is an obviously beautiful walled city, but we’ve found it a little over-touristy so we are off to Belgium and Luxembourg next before we head back to Caherciveen in west Ireland for 10 weeks work… Yuck!!!

Anyhows, keep in touch and remember, NEVER underestimate the power of pants!!!

Lotsa Love

Nude Rude Dude With Attitude Ced
Balkan bikini-less babe Avril

PS. Our Croatia photos with some of the less graphic nudey pics are at this link, but don’t expect a good perve because we’ve screened out all the really naughty shots since they’re not that pretty at all!!!

PPS. Thanks to Michael, Michelle and Aoife for organising the whole trip and Darlene and Allan for being such good company… And to all of you who know Michael, you know that Michael and I have had a long running feud to outdo each other with crudity everytime we meet, but you should all be proud to know that he is now OFFICIALLY cruder and ruder than me since he is the only man I know, who not only managed to poo in the water whilst floating butt naked on his back, but then was also able to grab the offending log in his bare hands and crush it before a nearby diver swam right into it… I can’t match that and I now concede defeat to his awesome display of crudity and self sacrifice… bleeagh!